Scandal in the Highlands

By Julian Scutts

A. Hae ye nae hearrrd about Jeannie, the bonniest lass in the glen?

B. Weell, ye wouldna keep it from me, would ye?

A. She's expectin' a wee bairn.

B. A wee bairn? But she isnay wed.

A. Aye, as ye rightly say, she isnay wed.

B. Weel, she always was a wild one, that lass.

A. She fancied she wa descended fra Rabbie Burrns, and ye ken wa he was like!

B. Aye, she shoulda just read his verses, but nay followed his ways. Weel, who dae ye say was responsible?

A. Justice Cairns hae made exhaustive inquiries so as tüü serrve a paternity erder on the culprit.

B. And who wae that culprit?

A. He narrowed it down to three passible meen.

B. Three passible meen? Nu whüü wud they be?

A. Wee Willie Fraser.

B. Wee Willie Fraser? Whüüü eelse?

A. Rorie MacDoonald.

B. Rorie Macoonald, Weel, I never! And the therrrd?

A. Ye`ll ne'er guess.

B. Du nae torture me. Whüü?

A. The most honourableLairrd Angus Bute-Cambell-Bell-`Gordon MacReady, O.B.E. , Justice of the Peace,.....

B. The most honourable Lairrd Angus Bute-Cambell-Bell-`Gordon MacReady, O.B.E. , Justice of the Peace,.....??!
What is the wereld cummin tüü? To queestion the inteegrity of a maan like thaaat! Was it Wee Willy?

A. Ney, he could nay.

B. Was it Rory MacDonald?

A. Ney, he would nay.

B. But it could nay been the . The most honourableLairrd Angus Bute-Cambell-Bell- `Gordon MacReady, O.B.E. , Justice of the Peace,......

A. Aye, he should nay.